POLICE REPORT
Briefing
The "Notablust" Crew otherwise known as "BLUSTY SQUAD" is wanted by authorities for crimes that will be listed under each individual. Please report when you see these figures in public, as they are a hazard to the public crowd. (For legality sake, everything here is a joke, nobody here is real and all characters)
List of BLUSTY SQUAD
Person 1: Isaiah NotablustPerson 2: Jesse Haubitzens
Person 3: Ashley Peefinger
Person 4: Robo Fann Jr.
P1: ISAIAH NOTABLUST
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Born in 2008, Isaiah Notablust was seemingly not about to start a gang named after his last name, however the parents doubts started in 2016 when Isaiah just up and disappeared. A 30 hour search ensued, but to no avail, Isaiah Notablust was not found. This changed in 2023 however, when he made his presense known on the internet, starting the now "BLUSTY SQUAD"
Over the next few years, Notablust began to grow in numbers from 1 to 5, then in 2024 from 5 to 2, and in 2025, 2 to 4. Former members of the Notablust gang came forward with information about operations, such as Operation "Fence", which will be dug into later.
Crimes (as of April 2025)
And probably more we do not know of
Details
Theft
We have 64 accounts of Notablust stealing items from people, many eyewitnesses say that he was in a hurry, did not threaten them in anyway, and offered to pay them back (surpisingly nice guy when stealing stuff!!)
Larceny
After Notablust had purchased many of these businesses under a false name, he sunk them into the ground, most notable cases being the Slime Guy Guy Guy Guy Guy Corporation failure in December 2024, where many systems of the business have been seemingly "hijacked" and advertisements running quickly switched to footage of the BLUSTY SQUAD in front of a house belonging to Police Chief Glonk Nose on "Glonk Hill" in flames. TV networks tried pulling their adverts off the air after just 3 minutes of the commercial running.
Interviewing STAE Network Founder, Grace Flowers, she said that the company immediately went Code RED, employees running through halls, many papers being dropped in a rush, many people running to different offices, leaving the STAE Network Building in chaos.
Arson
The gang is known heavily for them burning down the houses of extremely important figures in all types of communities, while standing in front of the house as it burns for as long as they can before they have to run.
Bank Robbery
Our lead told us that he accidentally robbed the bank that's literally all we know
Assassination
Notablust ran a temporary side business to assassinate people, only if he got paid like 40000 dollars. The money obtained was allegedly used to fuel Jesse's fake media distribution business named "Glaseye." Notable victims are King Tut???? and.. Some guy named joe???
Counterfeit Operations
Notablust had a total of 18 counterfeit operations all under regular civilian businesses, only discovered due to the stairs that were inside of Jacon's Wear, Flycross Pet Grooming, and Hairsport. Getting the accounts of the business owners we were told the following:
Jacon Mattias (Jacon's Wear): The only thing that I knew about the stairs is that I wasn't allowed to go down them, as it led into the underground sewage system. I thought this was true because men occasionally came in through the back wearing safety equipment and we let them in because they gave us credentials.
Natalie Swansea (Flycross Pet Grooming): I was told that the door led to the basement which was under construction and people who looked like the City's management kept making their way in, and told us interfering with their work will result in me losing my business license and me fined for $15,000.
Guy Jones (Hairsport): I didn't bother asking and I didn't bother going down there, I had customers to appease you know, would look bad as the business owner to just open some random door and maybe never come back.
Embezzlement
No available information about this, as our leads knew nothing.
Property of Manson Police Department
P2: JESSE HAUBITZENS
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Also born in 2008, Jesse Haubitzens seems to have had an entirely anonymous childhood that our leads could tell us other than being childhood friends with Notablust, even with lie detectors attached. All we know about him as of currently is that he is Notablust's right hand man, the co-founder of the BLUSTY SQUAD gang, and him being a 6'1" Feminist Dreadhead.
Our leads told us that Jesse has been responsible for multiple actions that Notablust takes, like the type of thumbnail he uses for the BLUSTY SQUAD videos, where he robs, what he speaks, what he does (somewhat), ect.
Crimes (as of April 2025)
And probably more we do not know of
Details
Bank Larceny
On two seperate occasions Jesse blended in as an investor who was there to collect money. He somehow got away with getting INTO the vault and took the money. Literally do not know how he did this
Distrubutation of False Media
On February 18th, 2022, Jesse founded Glaseye which would be responsible for the misleadings of events purposely construed to cause chaos amongst civilians, and it worked every time. A total of 14 articles were released before he was exposed, and disappeared off the grid shortly after that. Allegedly Notablust and Jesse were hiding in plain sight, however nobody noticed.
Glaseye is still being sued, however because the company no longer has any management, employees opted for bankrupcy and de-founded the company.
Theft of Farm Animals
A farmer claimed that all his bunnies were stolen from him and a note left by who allegedly claimed to be Jesse saying "sorry! i'm taking them! i want them so im getting them thanks for giving me your bunnies!" The farmer is sad now because those bunnies were his source of joy.
Property of Manson Police Department